Lost Light (Preview)
by Shezu
Summary: One of Luke Skywalker's padawans, Castel Pasnara was the oldest beside Ben Solo and was trained along side him when he started showing signs of his own abilities in the force. The two grew close as they grew older...which made Ben's inevitable betrayal all the more devastating to the young woman. Now terrified of the man she once called a friend, she goes into hiding, using a techn


**Author Note: This is a Preview story. This is technically complete because it is just a glimpse into the real story I would write if I decide to work on this story. I have many stories like this, but most are incomplete and I do not know where to focus my attentions. That's where you come in, reader! Comment and/or Kudo if this story interests you and if you want to read more! I'll be making a list of stories to work on and the more traffic a story gets, the higher on my priority list it goes and the more I work on it during my spare time. At least this way, even if I do not write the story completely, at least my idea has been shared and isn't just lingering in my head!**

We were the oldest.

We were the strongest.

We were the first.

I was found first, on a planet with no name worth remembering. Though Master Skywalker never offered me an explanation as to why he was there, I still vividly remember the day we met.

 _The brunette slips through the crowded, dark, dirty streets of the perpetually raining planet. Her stomach growls loudly as she eyes one of the several hot, steaming, stalls filled with bland but hearty street food._

 _The girl, no older than ten, moves closer to one of the stalls, inhaling deeply to calm her nerves as she eyes a particularly large piece of meat. Her eyes dart around before she reaches out in a subtle gesture with her right hand, the meat lifting off of the hook and closing the gap to her by an unseen force. The floating food doesn't go unnoticed by the vendor, who immediately shouts at the girl and struggles to dart out from behind his stall. The brunette pales and darts through the crowd again, running as fast as she can through the streets, her bare feet slapping loudly against the wet pavement._

 _Still hearing the vendor shouting and running after her, catching up despite her head start thanks to his much longer legs. Darting down an alley, the woman finds herself met with a dead end. Spinning around abruptly, she's met with the angry visage of the street vendor as he closes the distance between them._

 _"Do you know what we do to thieves around here, little girl?" He sneers, cornering the girl against the brick behind her. Now close enough to get detail of his face, the young brunette stares up with wide eyes at the man's oily face and sick grin. A hand lashes out and grabs the little girl by the hair and yanks her towards him._

 _"Leave the girl be," comes a strong, but quiet voice from the mouth of the alley, just loud enough to be heard over the rain and the ambient sound from the street. Both man and girl pause and look in the direction to see a man in a heavy cloak, features hidden beneath a heavy hood. The rain starts to pour all the harder as the stranger approaches slowly, soaking the three down to the bone, bringing a cold chill with them._

 _"Stay out of this, stranger. The thief deserves a beatin'." The girl lets out a frightened whimper and struggles against his hold, clawing at his hand. A sudden sound, like the mix between a hum and a heavy base—a sound that can be felt tingled between the shoulder blades—makes the brunette pause and looking back over at the stranger._

 _"Release the girl, walk away, and forget everything that just happened," the stranger says in a monotone voice as the girl catches a slight movement from under his cloak. She suddenly finds herself on the ground as the man releases her and turns, walking out of the alley and disappearing into the crowd. The girl stares up with wide eyes at the man who approaches her from her seated position on her knees on the floor._

 _"That is a very rare talent you have, little one," the man commends in a gentle tone as he stops before her and lowers himself down to a knee in front of her. She can see his face now, peeking out from behind the shadows of his hood, intelligent blue eyes focused intently on her._

 _"What's your name?" She stares up at the man for a long moment before she answers;_

 _"C-Castel," she answers in a mousy voice, intimidated by the power she sees in his eyes. He gives her a gentle, calming, smile._

 _"Well, Castel, would you like to come with me? To leave this planet?" He asks, offering a hand for her to take. "I can teach you to hone your gift; to use the force." Castel hesitates for only a moment before taking his hand, the meat she'd stolen falling to the ground with a splat onto the cold, wet, ground; forgotten._

After Master Skywalker took me in and started to train me, General Leia and Master Solo's son showed signs of the force. Since I was far from finished with my training, and there were no other masters to train one of us instead, Master Skywalker took him on too and trained us both.

 _"Ben, this is Castel," Master Skywalker introduces, "The two of you will both be trained under me, so I expect the two of you to get along." The young, mop headed, young boy looks just as shy and embarrassed as the brunette standing before him._

 _"H-Hi," the boy mutters first, brushing some of his curly black hair from his face. Castel smiles shyly and nods her own greeting._

 _"H-Hello," she offers her much smaller hand out to the boy, "I-I'm C-Castel. It…nice to meet you, Ben." The boy hesitates for a moment before taking her hand shyly in his own and shaking it softly. His hand was huge compared to hers—though they were both around the same age at twelve—and yet his grip was gentle on hers and his hand shook ever so softly with his nerves._

 _"I…like your hair," she points out after releasing his hand, trying to ease some of his tension, though she was just as shy and nervous. He looks up at her with wide, brown, eyes before his cheeks turn a little red and he turns his gaze away from her abruptly, his hand drifting up to his hair to brush it out of his eyes nervously._

 _"Th…thanks," he mutters quietly, not looking up, "I…uh, I like your eyes…they're pretty."_

That was the first time I met him. We were both shy to begin with, but when we opened up to each other, we became inseparable.

I was better at defense, misdirection, hiding.

Ben was better at Offense, manipulation and anticipation.

WE worked well together; we were so close.

 _"I got him!" The boy shouts as he jump at Master Skywalker, who simply dodged, managing to trip the boy on his way by and send him sprawling, rolling right into a tree and hitting it with a loud_ _ **thump!**_

 _"Ben!" Castel darts towards the fallen boy and drops to her knees next to him, rolling him over to see his chest heaving as he tries to get his breath back; the wind knocked out of him._

 _"Ben! Ben! Are you okay!?" She calls as she shakes him, to which he just lets out a groaning wheeze._

 _"Castel," comes her master's voice from behind, drawing the girl's sheepish gaze up to the much taller man._

 _"Y-Yes sir?" She doesn't move from her friend's side, her own body between her teacher and her partner out of some protective instinct._

 _"You missed your moment," he points out, "You both continue to ignore the force and act, or do not, when your instincts tell you otherwise." His gaze is critical as he stares down at the girl._

 _"Get up, Ben," The man instructs. Castel turns to help him up but is stopped by a sharp call from her master behind her. "Hold!" The girl looks up at the older man with wide eyes, her hand retreating from its offered position and curling into a timid fist._

 _"He needs to get up on his own," Master Skywalker states firmly, "It was his own foolish mistake that landed him in that position in the first place." Looking down at her friend, who is still wheezing softly, meets his own gaze—one of silent pleading. Averting her eyes, she takes a hesitant step back. The betrayal in his eyes as she sides with their teacher broke her heart and she almost steps to him again before he aggressively shoves himself off of the ground and stands, ready to fight again._

I should have seen the signs.

I should have known.

He was my best friend, my closest companion, and I couldn't save him.

 _The two eldest padawan walk around the complex of the old ruin that their master had commandeered in order to teach the two of them the old ways; and later the several other apprentices he'd picked up. Ben and Castel, as the oldest of the students by several years and the first two to be taught by Master Skywalker, often stuck together and would travel around together, exploring the planet that had become their home, whenever they weren't training._

 _Ben had grown into a real man, growing over their master to somewhere around six-foot-two. His hair was just as much of a mop as it was when they'd first met but it had grown out of its baby curls and into looser waves—growing more mature just as he had. Long gone were the days where the boy, now a man, blushed and hid his face from strangers and compliments._

 _Castel, having grown as well into a mature, but kind and gentle, woman, took to mother the young padawans that had been recently added into the fold, some as young as five years old. Her attitude around Ben, however, was completely different to the one she donned around the younger ones or her master._

 _Ben was special to her; just as she was to him._

 _They knew each other well…so well that Castel knew that Ben was troubled based simply on how quiet he was being. She also knew that his pride was too great and that he wasn't going to talk about it until he was ready._

 _"Castel?" He speaks up after a half an hour of walking around in almost complete silence. It seems that he was ready now._

 _"Yes?" She asks, her voice gentle and quiet. She'd never quite grown out of her shyness completely._

 _"Do you…ever think about leaving?" He asks, refusing to look up at her as he speaks, staring at his feet as he continues to walk, his hands wringing the hem of his robes. Castel thinks for a moment, humming softly._

 _"Well…yes, I suppose I have," she confirms. He's in front of her before she can blink, grabbing her hands in both of his and gripping them tightly. He stares down at her with wide eyes, alight with excitement and hope._

 _"Then we should go! We should leave!" He states firmly, leaning in so close their noses are almost touching. Castel's eyes are wide as she stares up at him, her mouth hanging open in surprise. "Just the two of us! I have somewhere we can go! There's someone who can take us in! He can train us instead! We don't have to be around these ungrateful people anymore!" He's almost shout at this point, his chest heaving with his own excitement and quick words, without a moment to take a breath._

 _"Ben, what are you talking about?" The woman dismisses with a soft laugh and a shake of her head, "We can't just leave! We belong here!" The excitement leaves him in a blink of an eye and she finds the betrayed look on his face again before it's replaced by anger. He drops her hands abruptly and stomps off angrily, leaving a stunned Castel in his wake, the image of his betrayed face burned into her mind's eye and her hands tingling from where he'd gripped them so desperately._

I couldn't save the young ones.

 _That sounds of screams and shouts echoed through the temple, ringing like bells in the brunette's ears as she runs hard, as fast as she can, in the direction of the temple. She was so far that by the time she got to the building, it was already in flames, the sharp burn of the smoke she inhales as she bursts through the trees to see the stone building makes her want to retch. She runs for the building to try and save those still trapped inside. The sight of a tall figure in dark robes, so familiar yet not at all the man she'd grown up around, makes her pause in her running._

 _"Ben!" She yells to the figure, who's hood turns towards her to indicate that she had the man's attention. Castel's relief to see the man safe and unharmed fades with a sudden, startling, horror and realization when the gleaming metal in his hands ignites. The red blade seems to extend in slow motion as the horrified woman stares at her with a horrified understanding._

 _Ben had turned to the dark side._

And I'm reminded of that every time I look in the mirror.

 _The make takes a slow, menacing, step towards her, snapping her from her stunned horror. The fear and betrayal she feels is written all over her face. She takes a few steps back before suddenly darting away from Ben and into the building, rushing inside to get to the young ones, still trapped in the burning temple._

 _The flames lap at the woman's exposed flesh as she rushes past, the smoke filling her lungs and making her cough. Screaming the names of the padawans as she rushes towards the sounds of screaming, she rounds the corner towards the room they used to prepare food and skids to a halt. The sight of the writhing bodies engulfed in flames with flesh already black as charcoal, brought bile to the back of her throat._

 _She didn't have more than a moment, however, to take in the sight and try to take her first steps towards the young ones before something volatile behind them suddenly explodes._

 _The woman's arms go up fast enough, thanks to her connection and training with the force, her use of the force could only minimize the damage. Her power protected her chest from most of the flames and the debris but one of the large pieces bounces off of her make shift 'shield' and slices up her throat, jaw, and cheek with the ease of a hot knife through butter. She couldn't register the pain before the force of the blast hits her and sends her flying through the window behind her, shattering it and sending her into the bushes where she smacks her head on a heavy fallen branch and blacks out._

I was unconscious for at least twelve hours as it was midday by the time I woke up. I looked around for hours, but I was the only other living being at the temple.

I didn't know what to do.

My best friend had betrayed us, my master was gone, and the others were dead.

So, I did the only thing I could; I hid.

"But how did you stay hidden from him?" Leia asks, "Luke thought you dead." The brunette smiles softly, eyes down cast, focused on her lap as she wrings her fingers together.

"I hid my connection with the force deep within myself. I have not, and cannot, use the force. In the eyes of the others, I am hidden, the same weak connection as everyone else." She explains, her throat a little parched from the long story she's just told. The pilot seems to have noticed the slight hoarse tone to her voice as he hands her a cup of lukewarm water to drink.

"I assume you haven't reconnected with the…uh, force, then I take it?" He comments as she drinks. Licking the water from her lips, Castel turns her eyes to the dark skinned human laying on the medical bed beside them.

"No," she confirms. "If I reconnect, if I reveal myself, no matter where he is, Ben will know. _He'll find me._ "


End file.
